The pains I've been getting in my "groin strain" type area are now beyond the point of excutiating when I lie down (ie: try to go to sleep). Consequently, last night, I'm not really sure if I got more than an hour or so of light sleep. If I put a pillow between my knees, my left knee starts with the jagging pains, but if I don't, as I discovered to my cost, any movement in the hip area not only results in the clicking and shlocking of the joints at their loosest but extraordinarily painful pulling, hot knives and feelings of...well, a bit like trying to lift things up when you've already torn all your muscles. Lying on the left hand side: slightly less chance of heartburn but more groin pain; lying on right hand side, puts pressure on the horrible varicose vein, and can only be tolerated for relatively short periods before the pain builds up too much as a background "ache" (as in, not like any ache I've ever known)...so then one drags oneself in to a sitting position, whilst observing the sensible "pushing up from the side" physio rules (ie: not pushing oneself straight up and lifting from the stomach) and goes through the unbelievable agony of movement from one side to the other.
...and so on. I suppose it must have been like this last time toward the end, but went on for longer. Sorry... I'm just grumping terribly*.
Given that I'm due for the marathon of huffing, puffing and agonies of a different nature at any point, this is not good.
I had a bit of a dispiriting day yesterday, and the shagged-ness etc is not helping today. I suppose it's only to be expected directly before the event - stuck is a limbo with an ever-increasing weight now beginning to buckle my back (I know how lucky I've been in avoiding that but that doesn't stop it being very immobilising now). I'm supposedly due tomorrow, and nearly two weeks ago, I thought I was going to be early. No such luck.
The thought that the NHS scans were wrong, and we were right (ie: beginning of April) hangs over me like a spectre now. Thank God McK's term ends on Friday so he'll be around to help if it takes longer.
Having said that though, the period when I knew nothing was going to happen has gone, and I'm now in much more of a flux, and can't really see much beyond the next 3 or 4 hours. This is probably adding to my feelings of isolation or whatever it is. I'd like to be driven to a park or cafe and have my best friends all present please for about two hours of talking drivel. Since half of them are in a different bloody country, this is slightly difficult.
Good lord, I really am in a bad mood. Please excuse me while I go and try and get some more sleep.
*When Nora's in a huff, I say, "Who are you, Grumpo of the Bailey?". Nora was reading a book t'other day with a bunch of half-drowned mice rescuing each other from a river, coughing, spluttering, holding on to each other - she said "Look at those grumpos!".